Limericks

I really got such a fright

On that dark and dreary night

While I was asleep

To my bedroom you creeped

It made me sit bolt upright


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There was a young girl on a swing

Who suddenly started to sing

It sounded so sweet

Really was such a treat

Guess it's what happens in Spring


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To those allergic to bees

A sting is likely to freeze

So if you get stung

Make sure and ambulance is rung

Or else you will fall to your knees


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I remember we married in Spring

In the birds were just starting to sing

When My Wife Walked down the Aisle

Overflowing with style

And afterwards the bell began to ring


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I once was addicted to booze

Of which I would always abuse

I drank 'til I fell

And my body would smell

And my tongue would act like a fuse


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I went to the dentist for a fill

I didn't realize he'd use a drill

In my mouth he did dig

Even though it isn't big

And now my mouth pains me still



Limericks

When your teeth have an ache

And the pain you can't shake

Call a dentist still

Even though he uses a drill

It's the best solution for your own sake


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Was a young lady who tried to teach

But the young minds she failed to reach

Filled their minds full of mush

Of history, english and such

Now most of them dream of the beach


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There was a music teacher at school

And she was nobody's fool

Taught her pupils' rhyme

And how to keep time

And other musical tools.


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There was this man, a plumber.

Who always wore shorts in the summer

All the water he'd wipe

While fixing the pipes

And the only crack shown was a bummer