19 Nov

Then out from the stables there arose such a clatter
But the RSPCA were there to see what was the matter
There in the stables Santa found a sight quite strange
NO reindeer to be found, they now were free range

This gave them more energy to get the sleigh lifted
Heaven knows they need it ‘cause Santa’s horizontally gifted
But what of the reindeer like Doner and Cupid
They’re running free, you know they’re not stupid

Since been released they’re flying much faster
All this because of the fresh greener pasture
But now because of work embargoes
Santa can’t use Rudolf’s red nose

When delivering presents he’ll have to move fast
Or else get caught and charged with trespass.
But there’s still time for cookies, milk and not beer
Cause the booze buses are out in force this year

It’s no good for Santa to blow .05
Then he’ll have to be a passenger, Mrs Claus will have to drive
Santa’s sleigh full of gadgets it’s become hi-tech
There’ll be no need for the RTA to inspect

But still it can fly and he speeds round the Earth
Attracting the tides with his sizeable girth
All the while the sleigh sounds like thunder
Following the stars ‘til he gets down under

But now down under what will he choose
To use trusted reindeer or six kangaroos
But this might start a demarcation dispute
So he’ll have to travel in an old Holden ute

Driving around with boardies and shades
Making deliveries as the night starts to fade
And as he makes it home this Christmas morn
Just as the dawn breaks he starts to yawn.

Another Christmas done and dusted
Now it’s time for pudding and custard
Putting the reindeer to pasture and the sleigh in the shed
And now it’s time for bed for Big Red.

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