Shopping Night Before Christmas

Twas the day before Christmas and all the stores were quite hoppin'
They waited until the last minute to finish their gift shoppin'

There was pushing and shoving and grabbing for things
From sweaters and dishes to big diamond rings

The crowds were just buying all the stuff at the mall
They just had to buy presents they had to have them all

I kept walking and looking at the stuff on display
I couldn't wait any longer for today was the last day

As I went by the window a gift caught my eye
I knew exactly what to get and it was time for me to buy

As I went for the present a lady did speak
"I saw it first. I saw it last week!"

I was angry and upset as I began to glare
At this mean old lady with silver white hair

I shouted and yelled and called her some names: "You bastard, you whore, you mean little bitch"
"You're ugly and nasty, you old little witch"

She ran to the counter and complained quite a bit
"He's crazy, he's mad and he just threw a fit"

Mall security came running as I stood there and thought
Look at all these gifts I could have just bought

I was led out the store and not a person did stop
They kept looking for prese and continued to shop

I wasn't allowed back or even to peek through the glass
I hate Christmas shopping its a pain in the ass

I knew this would happen I knew it would suck
As I walked out the door and went back to my truck

So this I will tell you and listen quite well
Waiting until the last minute will put you through Hell

Do your shopping early start sometime in September
And this short little story you should surely remember

Do something different next year and you’ll find
Don't wait until the last minute do your shopping on line